Here’s what the short term structure to handling the matter looks like:
- Recurring patterns report. This will tell us the common reactions this person is showing and their style to handle being challenged.
- Parking the past to one side to establish the need for short term wins. (Clearing the past is something that happens later because achieving forgiveness will only come from a place of self satisfaction.)
- Prioritising mental health. Most commonly done through building healthy friendships.
- Future scoping. Monitoring this to make sure their excuses are not creeping back into their conversions on this topic.
Once the steps in the short term are ticked off, a relationship is established with the person and revisiting underlying issues we feel that’ll come back and then the person can be cleared.
Remember when trying to help a 13-30 year old you’ll fall into the trap of making them feel challenged. Once that happens your influence over them may fade so if you’re left feeling ‘how can I get them to appreciate me?’ at this point you follow the 5 steps or get the right help in order to make sure these are applied.
Feel free to reach out if you have further questions and I hope this helps. Many times I’ve come across cases that could have been cleared years ago but we don’t talk about solutions enough therefore families get left in long-term misery.